The Micro-Inequities that Destroy Morale and How to Overcome Them - News

[ The Micro-Inequities that Destroy Morale and How to Overcome Them ]

Part 1: The Macro Impact of Micro Hurts Introduction Picture this. You are taking part in a video conference call about how to be nicer to your colleagues so you can work better as a team. The agenda mentioned something weird called micro-inequities as part of your team problem. Your boss has called the meeting for 10:00 am sharp. Your colleagues are visible on their tiny little screens along the edge of your monitor. Everybody is ready. Your boss, as is his style, has taken up the big screen space. Clearly, he is not ready. He is scrolling on his smart phone. Time passes. Finally, one of your braver and less patient colleagues unmutes her mike and coughs purposefully. Your boss looks up into the web cam. “So,” he says, “You want to know what the heck a micro-inequity is. Well, you have just been exposed to two micro-inequities. Hands up those of you who felt annoyed that I ignored the time, even though I insisted that you be on time? And who felt irritated with the way I ignored you while playing with my phone? Those are two common micro-inequities at work. Not being shown due respect and being ignored. Now, hands up those of you who did not like my use of the phrase ‘what the heck’. Yes, to some super sensitive souls, slightly inappropriate language can feel like a micro-inequity. Okay, now, who felt annoyed by how I said ‘super sensitive souls’? Exactly! That was another one! Not the phrase itself so much as the way I said it, implying that those who dislike crude language at work are somehow inferior to me.” Even though this was a picture-it set up, in reading it and picturing it, you probably had a deja vu moment, an instant gut recall of having been in an actual situation like this one. Yes? So what do we have so far? At least five good points about micro-inequities. What the heck is a micro-inequity? Which one is the super-spreader? (free public domain: clipart-people.com) A micro-inequity makes you feel uncomfortable. Any minor event that makes you feel uncomfortable, or uneasy, could be a micro-inequity, at least to you. Micro-inequities trigger feelings. It’s like stepping barefoot on a thorn. You recognize it after you feel it. You will recognize a micro-inequity in how it makes you feel when it happens. Micro-inequities are small and fleeting, but add up. On their own and in singles, they are tiny and insignificant. However, if you keep adding ones together, you end up with something big. The “at least to you” bit in #1 above is important. Often the person performing the micro-inequity is not even aware of what he or she has just done. Micro-inequities are often unintentional and therefore unrecognized by the perpetrator. You are a carrier. As with a virus, you don’t even know when you’ve passed one on. And why not? Because you don’t define what a micro-inequity is. The person experiencing it defines it. It’s like how your immune system determines whether you will catch a virus. Now, because micro-inequities are so small, so pervasive, and so “not my fault on purpose”, you might be tempted to shake your head and say “what nonsense!” You might think the same way I did when I first heard the term micro-inequity, “Oh no! Not another buzz word. Not another management training fad.” Well, between you and me, there might be some merit in this one. Let’s explore it some more. Categorized, Labeled, and Pinned Hard to describe because it can be so subtle. (free public domain: clipart-people.com) So what does the word micro-inequity mean? The word inequity means unjust or unfair. Add micro to that and we get “little injustices or tiny unfairnesses.” That’s exactly what Mary Rowe, who coined the term way back in 1973, observed at MIT. As part of her job working for the president and chancellor of MIT, she noticed how minor issues, little acts of disrespect, corroded relationships. She defined micro-inequities as “small events which are often ephemeral and hard-to-prove, events which are covert, often unintentional, frequently unrecognized by the perpetrator, which occur wherever people are perceived to be ‘different.’” Add “hard to describe because a micro-inequity can be so subtle” and you see the difficulty. After all, anything blunt and blatant, anything that is obviously rude, is not a micro-inequity. There are two big issues in dealing with micro-inequities: Because a micro-inequity is subtle, often unintentional and even unconscious, the perpetrator can deny it with sincerity. In other words, the perpetrator can be innocent of knowing, but not of the doing. If the thing is almost invisible and the perpetrator can deny it so easily, how can the victim be sure it happened? (Do you see the problem?) Let’s discuss the problem in terms of signals sent and received. Micro signals Some are fairly common and pretty harmless on their own. (free public domain: clipart-people.com) There are several (micro) signals that should alert you to a micro-inequity: facial expression; rolling of the eyes; tone of voice; body language (especially hand gestures); choice of words; lack of eye contact; style of interaction (specifically type of questions asked); constantly being interrupted while you are talking; being left out of a discussion; trying to speak with someone who continues to do e-mails; talking with someone who keeps looking at his or her watch; not being introduced in a meeting and then being ignored; having your name mispronounced; having your name spelt incorrectly; fake, masked or forced smiles; and so on. Actually, this is not quite correct. Many of these signals are fairly common and pretty harmless on their own. We see and hear them all the time. What really alerts you to a micro-inequity is the feeling in your gut. If you felt it, then a micro-inequity probably happened. Here’s a last clue. We tend to see a micro-inequity as such because a micro-inequity is selective. If your boss treats everybody consistently the same, with the same little injustices and tiny unfairnesses, would these be defined as micro-inequities? For example, if your boss never makes eye contact with anyone, is this a behavior trait or a micro-inequity? Think about it. Don’t worry about how unspecific this information appears to be, how tricky it is to define a micro-inequity. You will get the hang of it easily. After all, you are also a perpetrator! Believing is feeling Some of us see a UFO where others see a meteorite. (free public domain: clipart-people.com) If your nonsense antennae are anything as sensitive as mine, then you probably feel that we are making a mountain out of nothing. Well, hold on to your seat because I am about to make it even zanier. I am going to make a statement that will either annoy you or make you shout “nonsense!” or both. Ready? If you experience a micro-inequity, then it is because you created it. No, no, calm down. I don’t mean that you made someone be rude to you. What I mean is that you could interpret an innocent event as a micro-inequity, because you were expecting one, because you believed it will happen to you. Not long ago we were taught that “seeing is believing.” Psychologists and social scientists have now shown that we are more likely to see something if we already believe it to be true. Let me explain it this way. Some of us see a UFO where others see a meteorite. We would encounter far less nonsense if we would only admit that, “I would not have seen it, if I had not already believed it to be true.” So what does this mean in terms of micro-inequities? Three major points: You may experience an innocent event as a micro-inequity simply because you believed it to be true. Because believing is seeing, others may not agree with you when you claim to have experienced a micro-inequity. This one is tricky: Because you felt a micro-inequity, it is a micro-inequity to you… because you believed it. Get it? Hopefully, by remembering these three points, you will never take micro-inequities so personally that they prevent you from functioning appropriately. One sure way of functioning appropriately is to remember that you don’t live in a vacuum. Always take context into account. Context is the circumstances that form the setting for an event, such as a micro-inequity. And it is context that will enable you to make sense of the event, to clarify its meaning, or to interpret it correctly. What we could describe as a micro-inequity in one environment (e.g. the boardroom) might not be one in a different setting (e.g. the pub). In some situations, a pat on the back might mean you are part of the group. In other situations, ordinary politeness might mean, or make you feel, that you are excluded. Always consider how everyone else is treated, not only how one person is treated. Remember, equity is about fairness and justice for all. A micro-inequity is a micro-inequity because it is selective, it is specific to one person and not to everybody. As I asked previously, if your boss never makes eye contact with anyone, is this behavior a micro-inequity if he never makes eye contact with you? Now that I’ve mentioned pub and boardroom behavior, consider this. If your colleagues all get a slap on the back from the boss and you don’t, what does that mean? Are you being excluded while they are being included? Yes, micro-inequities can be a way of excluding people, but it gets worse. Even when the exclusion was unintentional, it can cause you to withdraw if the no-slap makes you doubt whether you are part of the team. Got that? The macro impact of micro-inequities Is he really con artist? (free public domain: clipart-people.com) We all know that dynamite comes in small packages. So let me tell you a true story of how a little joke becomes a big problem. One day I was walking with a colleague when he suddenly interrupted himself and said, “See this guy with the plaid shirt coming toward us? He’s a con artist.” I studied the guy as he passed us, and then my colleague started laughing. “I don’t know that guy from Adam,” he said, “But I bet, now that I’ve planted the seed, the next time you see him you’ll still suspect him of being a con artist.” Now imagine what would happen if I met Mr Plaid Shirt. He would not understand why I am aloof. He would have to work hard to gain my trust, even as he sees that others have an easier time of it. Here’s the real problem he faces. The harder he works at gaining my trust, the more I will suspect that he is setting me up. But to cover my suspicion, after all I have no proof, I will remain friendly and polite. So, on one level he can see that I am not pushing him away while in his gut he knows something is wrong. He’s in a double bind, because I am sending out conflicting messages. My friendliness pulls him in, but as he gets closer, he senses my coldness. Eventually, he will become annoyed, give up on me and stay away. A victim of a micro-inequity is likely to go through the following stages: Try harder Become de-motivated Under perform Be warned about poor performance Lose self-confidence and self-esteem Make mistakes and become ineffective Become history. What is the impact of this? Obviously the individual suffers. But as his or her attitude and performance deteriorates, colleagues suffer, the team performance suffers and ultimately the organization pays the price. A micro event can have a macro impact. Like the idea that a butterfly, flapping its wings, can trigger a hurricane. Now do you understand how a micro-inequity can spread its harm beyond the two parties directly involved? It’s like a virus, an airborne virus. The outcome can be a negative impact on performance, even if you are merely an observer. Every time you observe the injustice of a micro-inequity, you will devalue the perpetrator for abusing power and you will devalue the victim for not standing up to it. You might not be consciously aware of your change in attitude, but the negative feeling will grow. Here’s why the negative feeling will grow. Remember what I said previously about context? Well, micro-inequities become clearly visible when they clash with the corporate culture. Corporate culture is just the-way-we-do-things-here. If the-way-we-do-things-here includes little injustices and hints of unfairness, then micro-inequities will be almost invisible. So ask yourself, does your organization’s culture tolerate and even encourage micro-inequities? Or does it frown on them? If it frowns on that behavior, then when you experience or observe a micro-inequity, it will worry you and impact on your performance. Is that the outcome you want for yourself, your colleagues, your team and your organization? Of course not. That’s why you should make micro-inequities work for you. I’ll explain how to do that in Part 2: How to Turn a Micro Hurt Into a Macro Boost.